Totally dumb decision that is. The worst they should have done to you is public reproof and have local needs talk on drinking at social events and the responsibilities of the host of oversight of what goes on. That should have been the worst case scenario with coming down hard on you as the host of the nights goings on (it was your home). It would have been public reproof beacuse too many people knew about it or were there for it to pass as private reproof most likely.
But it sounds to me like the elders had a hissy fit and wanted to show they had control of their patch by throwing their weight around and making an example of you. Not very loving or merciful is it.
If you had previosuly been reproved for a similar thing, I can just about see it progressing to a possible disfellowshipping, but again it's not a given, mercy should dictate the outcome. Disfellowshipping is the last resort when mercy is not possible. And lets face it mercy should be possible in almost all circumstances except things like child abuse, or repeat repeat repeat behaviours.
Im not an elder, just saying how I would see it if it came my way viewing it thru the WTBS lens.
As said JCs are a lottery anyway with uncertain outcomes. But if they followed the principles of mercy as outlined in Christs teachings and even (dare I say it) the Elders Manual, then the outcomes would be far more certain.
Only bother with reinstatement shinanigans IF you NEED to. only you can work that out and make that decision. What happened to hubby btw?
Welcome to the board
Cheers